Article 2: January 21, 2010

What’s This Love Thing All About author, Corey J. Barnes recently posted on his Facebook: “Just looked at some interesting stats online, 40% Asian, 45% White, 51% Latino, and 70% African American women are single in today’s society. So the question today is, why are so many women still single?”

The post garnered over 100 comments and replies. I doubt that the statistics are accurate, however I do agree that there are too many single women.

Single in this context isn’t just as in not married, but this includes not involved in a relationship or merely dating… (many can’t even name the last time they’ve been courted)

After reading Barnes’ post that morning, I pondered over it throughout the day. That evening I responded…

Here we go… Women are no longer restricted to the home. We now are working and are running our own business too. THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING…

Over time this has created a competition between the sexes in who is “in charge” NOT THAT WOMEN SHOULDN’T WORK…

Nonetheless, as women entered the workforce we also entered the courtroom as many marriages began to end in divorce (stating historical facts not some jive turkey stats that joe blo publisher puts out there to make us buy into to make us think less of our community)

So as these women continued working and making a way for themselves and their children, we have ultimately created a cultural mentality “I did this, I made this happen I, I, I, I, I) so men accept that the women don’t need them for anything else besides, the occassional SexErcise!

This cultural mentality passed along to the next generation and has continued to spiral. Women are raising children ALONE more than any other time in our history. Yes in the past women raised children with a father gone, but at that time the VILLAGE raised that child. Now a days the village bet’not say a word.

Many of the children in these single mother households see that mama did and they think I can too cause I don’t need no man (some females) while other females act out for the attention of any male because they never knew a man to learn how a man treats a woman. As for the males raised by these women, many think I don’t have to step up I can do what I wanna cause that’s a woman’s job since my mama did it by herself or because they don’t know how to be a man because a man was never there. This doesn’t mean none of them will react in a way opposite of how they were raised with the mentality to DEFEAT the past and to break the generational curse!

It has been passed down that marriage is a fairytale; our men are gay, in jail, hoes or already married. You say something or hear it long enough you begin to internalize it and accept it as your personal truth, thus your reality.

Women are single for various reasons, but I had to share a real world effect which has caused many of those reasons.

One personal belief I have is that we women MUST STOP calling ourselves independent. Stop being so damn independent and claiming you are independent. Words mean things and that word means to stand alone.

I’m gonna leave you INDEPENDENT WOMEN with this:
Stop with this Independent Woman Talk!!
You are sufficient and proficient. I don’t want any of my sisters calling themselves independent any longer.
Proverbs18 teaches us that words kill and words give life. Independent is not what you want to be if you are awaiting your mate. A man can’t please an independent woman… She is too set to be provided for. I mean think about what that sounds like to a man when you say independent!
We have claimed that title for so long that it has materialized into our very being. Independent/ence means alone. We are too beautiful and created in too perfect of an image and for a MAJOR purpose, and it’s not to be alone. WE are WOmen, meant to be with man, he is a part of who we are. Don’t get what I’m saying twisted, just ponder on Proverbs 18… Claim who and what you want. If you want to be alone then continue with that I’m an Independent woman talk, if not… Change it!

I love you ladies! You all are all STRONG BEAUTIFUL INTELLIGENT and GOD’s FAVORITE POSSESSION!

Article 1: August 2, 2010

When certain people get “together” the world or the world around them ask’s “WHY?” I ask, “why not?” Why shouldn’t people who love each other go ahead and be together. Should they wait a certain amount of time to make it official. Should they wait on the ink to dry on a divorce decree, should they announce to the world “Hey guys we’re in love?”

Recently, Singer, songwriter, actress Alicia Keys exchanged vows with her long rumored fella, producer and songwriter, Swiss Beatz. The story of their relationship and the so called drama surrounding it has been all over urban radio, blogs and other media outlets. So you shouldn’t be surprised that I would indulge in it too!

So we all know by now that Keys is withchild, and that her pregnancy occurred prior to her new hubby’s divorce from singer Mashonda. (“THE DRAMA”) We’ve heard or read Mashonda’s account of how their marriage ended, and something about it tells me it was over long before Keys entered the scene. But I don’t know them and probably none of you do either!

When Keys announced or more so affirmed her pregnancy, she instantly took a lot of heat. Homewrecker shots were fired off almost simultaneously to her BET performance on June 27th. One would think that she had climbed into the window of Mashonda’s home and kicked her out of the master suite and sexed up Swiss right there! When actually Mashonda & Swiss had long been separated with a pending divorce.

Some say that you shouldn’t date a person who is still legally married, I disagree.  I’ve seen multiple divorce proceedings last upwards of 3-4 years. So I don’t think its realistic to expect people to not move on when things are over, simply because a final agreement about STUFF hasn’t been reached. Yea right! (Clearly I’ve never been married)

Having said that, it seems to me this may be why these two dismissed rumors regarding their relationship. Why draw negativity to you from spectators when what you feel for a person is so positive? Why not keep it private and shared only with people who actually support and love you wholeheartedly.

Just as most things in life, relationships are like cycles. They have their infancy phase which requires a lot of tending to, and attention to detail as it develops. You wouldn’t want negativty or spite present in the delivery room when you’re giving birth, so why invite it in when you’re birthing your new love.

Perhaps I’m just a typical Cancerian, full of optimism and a hopeFULL romantic. Or maybe, just maybe while others see the cup half empty I see it half full. Regardless, in my sincere honest opinion when two people declare their love I much rather just say “WHY NOT?” I mean God loves us despite all our indiscretions and shortcomings so why shouldn’t these two be able to love each other as well!

At any rate… Here are the wedding pictures Click here for photos